Friday, April 29, 2016

Business Letter

Hi everyone! I would like to welcome you to make comments and suggestions on my very rough draft of the business letter. Thank you in advance.

"May 6, 2016

Greg Cannon
Chief Public Affairs Officer
Marist College
3399 North Road
Poughkeepsie, New York 12601-1387

Dear Mr. Cannon,

WHJAKL Communications is elated to have the opportunity to be considered to support the implementation of Marist College Strategic Plan.

The supplementary strategic communication plan details how we pledge to assist with the improvement of the quality of the online graduate education experience at Marist. Our focus is to provide support by focusing on initiatives 21, 22, and 26.

Each member of our team has hands on experience as an online graduate student and an understanding of the needs to improve the program. Based on personal experience as graduate students and an extensive amount of research, our team has outlined what the majority of online graduate student’s desire in an online setting. Our plan features how the entire curriculum can be more interactive and supportive on a twenty four hour basis. All of our ideas keep one task in mind and that is to make students feel like they are part of a cohort.

By making the enhancements suggested in our strategic communication plan we foresee that current online graduate students at Marist will be even more satisfied with their curriculum than they already are. These progressions will also attract new students to the program by providing features that other online graduate programs lack. We believe that our ideas are consistent with the Marist College Strategic plan and have the best interest of current and potential online graduate students.

Thank you for taking the time to read the enclosures. Our team looks forward to take on the initiative to make these aspirations a reality.

Sincerely,

WHJAKL Communications
WHJAKL Communications" (Not sure if we need to sign our name as a group or individual?)


3 comments:

  1. I like it! Good specifics, good measurable goals. I'm not sure either about the signature. I think listing us all under the firm name would be nice, since being personal about all this is part of our selling point. Well done!

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  2. What about Kristen just signing her name? In my work, who ever authors and from whom the letter is intended, signs it. And the corporate name is usually in the header or part of the signature. Thoughts?

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  3. Nice letter, Kristen. To improve:

    -- Use proper style for state abbreviation in mail address.
    -- Hyphenate compound modifiers like "hands-on."
    -- Sign with your name only; and insert title (e.g., Team Representative) below your signature block.

    Good luck,
    Mark

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